Tao of Mario, a Movement in 5-7-5

Toadstools celebrate
the birthday of Mushroom Kingdom,
then trouble appears.

The princess kidnapped,
now, green-shelled king of koopas
maliciously waits.

Mustachioed man
donning the red hat with pride,
here to save the day.

brown boots asunder,
full force jumping in action
smashing a goomba.

Claustrophobia.
Mushrooms help with the pain of
traveling through pipes.

Past seas of Big Boos,
riding his green pal Yoshi,
stars help guide his way.

Finally, the end.
Grey stone and chains dot this place,
dwelling of Bowser.

Red hat wearing man
leaps over the turtled fiend.
The hiss of lava.

A quest at an end,
gracefully Peach approaches.
An embracing kiss.

Townspeople rejoice!
Hero of Mushroom Kingdom,
Super Mario.

an overheard conversation between girls at a Subway

Submitted for your (dis)approval is my best shot at a transcription of a wonderful girl behind me on the phone while I was ordering my veggie sub.

"...Ok, so I felt bad for the person so i'm like totally feeling bad about it.

I don't know anything about him. So I guess I can't really say anything, huh? So like...

...I guess I'll just talk about random stuff. That sound good? I don't care if you think it sounds good or not, haha jk! ... my favorite show is Supernatural... One Tree Hill... I used to like Gilmore Girls, but the show has been going downhill since last season, so I don't watch it anymore! Yea me!

...only 15 years old and cheerleading... go tigers! lol! ...I get my learners permit this summer, so I'm really excited about that! I can't wait until I can drive! Driving FREEDOM! So.. I like talking. And texting. I know how to type fast now, courtesy of my keyboarding class. Oh yeah, school is out soon! hell yeah! I hate school so much! It's retarded.

...listening to music ..mix cd. It has all kind of music on it. Well, the ones worth listening to anyways. That song kicks ass! It's flippin' awesome! And I love Fall Out Boy! That band is soooooo rockin'!

So, I have my car! yes! It's a sunfire! It's great! I've driven it! But I'm not really supposed to because I don't have my license... but thats ok. I didn't get caught."

girls are dumb
sigh...

following the bouncing bubble

Earlier this afternoon I went out for my daily run. I’m trying to get back into shape again, so last week I started a 5K a day plan. I have to say I’m enjoying it so far, its nice to feel better again, and I kinda hope I’ll have a good trail to run when I end up moving to Columbia. The path I run now goes around the only elementary and middle school in Kirksville, MO.

The elementary school was having recess outside today and I saw one boy out by himself, away from everyone else by the group of trees near the bike path. I noticed him a ways back so I was watching him while I was running by. He was holding a stack of papers, but he was busy chasing one that must have gotten away, swept up by the wind. When he finally got to it, he tripped, fell, and dropped all of the papers he was holding. I was about to stop my run to help, but a girl came over from his class I assume and helped him pick everything up.

It reminded me of the time last year when I was in Des Moines at a Flaming Lips show. There was a little kid who went chasing after one of the balloons the lead singer Wayne Coyne threw that ended up going astray from the crowd. I remember the kid looking so happy running after that thing. He went to go grab the balloon when it finally hit the fence and popped, making him fall face first right into the fence.

He didn’t have anyone come over and help him up, but maybe that’s just how things work sometimes. You go out alone chasing after that one big thing, that one big moment or accomplishment that you think will make your life near perfect only to have it go and explode on you. You know you can realize in the long run that the decisions you made in the past could have been incorrect ones, but either way, no matter what the outcome, you still have those stupid fence marks on your face.

It only takes a goddamn broom...

Today I had a customer complain because we don’t give away free popcorn anymore. I really never remember a time when we gave out popcorn for free, or when I read a good book and decided that it was so good that my experience can only be heightened by the presence of an oily face and greasy fingers. I explained to him that we don’t have the necessary tools to clean up the mess that our pop corn machine creates. He told me “It only takes a goddamn broom!” I didn’t really know how to respond to that so I just stayed quiet and took comfort in the fact that he was going to die in a few years.

I had my annual performance review at my job earlier this week. It’s hard to believe I was pleasantly stalked on facebook one year ago by my now (gay)friend and got offered a job. It pays to know how to look handsome, unwittingly flirt with a guy(i'm not gay), and hit the button that says five sugars and five cream for some ones coffee I guess. But anyway, like school I am graded on a 4.0 scale, one which I’ve never really understood in the first place. I don’t particularly like the idea of being rated out of four, there isn’t really much separating you from the 3’s and the 2’s, let alone the 1’s from the 4’s. Regardless, of my annoyance with these numbers, I got graded anyway. I got a 3.56, because I fucking rock, which is exactly one point higher than my accumulative gpa, and in both cases I didn’t have to write any papers.

Because of my excellence in the field of book finding, I was rewarded with the choice of one of four prizes. There was a tote bag, a pen, a nalgene, and a coffee cup. I decided to pick the one with the most class.

Ego bruising at the gates of hell

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It was a really nice day out today. However, I worked. 7:45- 5:00 shift. I got out early today on account that I worked too quickly and got everything done. Some girl came in for an interview and made fun of me because after lunch I put my apron inside out and didn’t realize it. Her face annoys me, and her attitude, at least I wouldn’t go around and make fun of the employees at a place you’re trying to get a job at. I didn’t want her to get hired on account of my apron fiasco, but she did anyway. I feel like it wasn’t all my fault though, I had a painful lunch.

I went on my lunch break around 12. I decided to go back to my apartment, I knew I had a letter coming either today or tomorrow, so I was excited to see if it came. The parking spaces were full on the street so I had to park in the back lot of my apartment. I went around to the front door to go and check and see if it came. Now, for people who aren’t aware, I live next to a loan office, and next to that the majestic Kirksville Mini Mall. Mini is a good way to describe it. Essentially it is a knife store and a tanning salon. I think they just installed some coke machines in there as well.

Anyways, a lot of pretty girls come and go. I saw a girl coming out of there as I approached the door to the apartment. She looked familiar, so I was going to wave hi, but I wasn’t too sure it was her, and I didn’t want to be some weird creepy guy who waves hi at some girl who turns out to be a complete stranger. Those occurrences only lead to awkward looks and me staying hidden from the public the rest of the day. So what do you do when you’re not sure if you know the person walking towards you? Well, I put my hand against the door and looked back over my shoulder to casually and inconspicuously look at her again. Well, she turned out not to be the person I expected, and the door, of which I placed my hand on to go inside, wasn’t exactly what I expected either.

Remember, it was a nice day outside, so it being the nice day that it was, the door was propped open. I didn’t know that. I leaned against the air. I fell. It hurt.

The Morning After Halloween

‘Twas the morning after Halloween and everything seemed fine.

The difference was that Ron was grounded because he didn’t toe the line.

Ronald yawned and shot a look across the breakfast table,

He didn’t notice the grotesque images on the TV cable.

Ron took a box of cereal with the picture of a bee,

And munching on those rounded snacks he tripped and bumped his knee.

He threw the box to the ground and let out quite a yelp,

He realized that this big old bruise really didn’t help.

You see Ron was late to the bus; he was really in a hurry,

He was trying his best to dodge, his teacher’s wrath and fury.

He heard a honk outside his door grabbed his lunch and ran,

The bus took off really fast, but Ronald had a plan.

Lying in the yard quite near sat a long green rubber hose.

He threw it up in the air forming two huge round lassos.

He closed one off around his waist; he was running out of time.

Ron threw as hard as he could and hooked the bus fuel line.

The bus exploded hard and fast, it really was a mess.

The children’s body parts were plastered on the fresh cut grass.

Ron ate the parts plain and raw, dirtying his face.

Hearing sirens in the distance, it was time to leave this place.

He grabbed a brain, a couple of arms, a leg, a hand, a foot.

Out of nowhere Ving Rhames popped out, and flamethrowered him to soot.

The moral of this story is that you should listen to your parents.

Ron snuck out of his house the night before to explore like William Barents.

He wandered left and wandered right and jumped a set of gates,

A cemetery Ron encountered and soon he met his fate.

You see in that cemetery, Ron was bitten by a zombie.

His thirst for flesh developed because he didn’t listen to his mommy.

So if you all are shocked and mad and your response is just a cough,

Well all I can tell you is that you can all just go fuck off.

Just remember, that your parents just want you to be kind and listen,

They love you and you just may miss, the fact the dead had risen.