It only takes a goddamn broom...

Today I had a customer complain because we don’t give away free popcorn anymore. I really never remember a time when we gave out popcorn for free, or when I read a good book and decided that it was so good that my experience can only be heightened by the presence of an oily face and greasy fingers. I explained to him that we don’t have the necessary tools to clean up the mess that our pop corn machine creates. He told me “It only takes a goddamn broom!” I didn’t really know how to respond to that so I just stayed quiet and took comfort in the fact that he was going to die in a few years.

I had my annual performance review at my job earlier this week. It’s hard to believe I was pleasantly stalked on facebook one year ago by my now (gay)friend and got offered a job. It pays to know how to look handsome, unwittingly flirt with a guy(i'm not gay), and hit the button that says five sugars and five cream for some ones coffee I guess. But anyway, like school I am graded on a 4.0 scale, one which I’ve never really understood in the first place. I don’t particularly like the idea of being rated out of four, there isn’t really much separating you from the 3’s and the 2’s, let alone the 1’s from the 4’s. Regardless, of my annoyance with these numbers, I got graded anyway. I got a 3.56, because I fucking rock, which is exactly one point higher than my accumulative gpa, and in both cases I didn’t have to write any papers.

Because of my excellence in the field of book finding, I was rewarded with the choice of one of four prizes. There was a tote bag, a pen, a nalgene, and a coffee cup. I decided to pick the one with the most class.