Life is a garden...

Everyone always says that things have a tendency to work out. In fact, I know I am guilty of this overused idiom myself, and yet recently I have been struggling to find out if this is true. Things have been piling up on themselves over the course of the past few days. I'm packing up to leave a room, which, has a lot of maintenance, a lot of trash, and a lot of dishes to do , of which are leaving a terrifying lingering smell of refried beans and nutella, and i'm just afraid i'll never be able to enjoy either of those things again. I'm starting to feel that everyone seems to be slowly drifting apart or away from each other, we are all growing up and either off to find ourselves, or running away because we can't face the world around us, but at least we are all moving in some direction, and hey, everything seems to work itself out in the end huh?

Really though, its not that bad. I found twenty bucks on the ground last night. I guess i'm buying.

Everyone has their day in court, no matter what your name is...

A while back I experienced the worst possible thing that could happen to me, February. Febraury is by far the worst month of the year, and I really see the harm in writing the reasons down, because, I fear, that the gods will get wind of this nine months from now and mess with me again. But I can give a short(whiny) list of why I hate a succession of these 27(8, which is just another reason) days.

F- Football is over, and I realized I have nothing to look forward to every weekend.

E- everyone is buying people shit, Valentines Day

B- big people like to fall through your wall in your apartment, you know, giving the place a bigger sense of space, but there is still a huge fucking hole in the wall.

R- I am not acknowledging you, oh bane of my existence

U- ugly weather makes the exact same windshield wiper break three times in a row

A- also accidents, like drinking a few too many gin and tonics and take a girl home who you didn’t want to take home, spray mustard in her face, tell her to cook her own damn chicken, soiling yourself, and somewhere in the confusion utter the words “I lost my pants”

R- realize that you’ve been broken up with your ex for two whole years and you’re alone watching the Star Wars trilogy

Y- you get pulled over in front of your work, failing to have up to date plates, and have to appear in court

“A” aside, and never to be spoken of again, the last one is why I’m writing this down. I had to appear in court the other day for failing to have new plates, and failing to present proof of insurance because I got nervous and couldn’t find my card. I got a letter sent to me telling me my court date had been pushed to a week later and thought nothing of it. I suppose the city of Kirksville thought the same thing because I attended court with about 60 other people as well. I ended up getting there right at nine, which was just terrific, I had to watch just about every case that was presented that day.

I encountered a lovely woman with a Tasmanian Devil t-shirt who was called into court because she didn’t put a leash on a vicious animal. Well, at least that’s what the judge told her. She claimed that vicious dog was not in fact vicious, but friendly and playful, “it was only play biting.” The dog’s name was Demon. She was also cited for another vicious dog, who was aptly named “Killer.” I don’t really know, I’m not a scientist, but I would assume a dog named Daisy Candy Mountain Rainbow Smiles Glitter-kins, would not have a tendency to inflict harm on anyone, except maybe itself..

This reminded me of the time my brother’s obese cat bit him on the hand hard enough to draw blood. My mother dismissed it as “just a love bite.” Ryan then put on a band-aid. The cat put on twenty pounds. Clearly he was hungry.

I did meet a nice girl. She was involved in a car accident, by involved I mean she started it. She said someone ran out in front of her car while she was driving. We sat next to each other and made fun of the dumb people and ridiculous sentences the judge was handing down. A kid who just turned 21 was ordered a 100 dollar fine for littering one beer bottle, someone was given a 500 dollar fine just because her dog had no leash. Finally it was time for my friend’s case. I didn’t know her name, and then I figured out why, “The next case, Sunshine O’Flanagan.” I started to laugh, but then she got up... whoops. Lucky for me we were indoors and not near any gas pedals or steering wheels.

Court was an interesting experience and I suppose it was a good day though, I ended up showing the judge my stuff and was only hit with a 35 dollar fine. Needless to say, those four hours of court were probably the safest four driving hours the city must of ever had.

Tao of Mario, a Movement in 5-7-5

Toadstools celebrate
the birthday of Mushroom Kingdom,
then trouble appears.

The princess kidnapped,
now, green-shelled king of koopas
maliciously waits.

Mustachioed man
donning the red hat with pride,
here to save the day.

brown boots asunder,
full force jumping in action
smashing a goomba.

Claustrophobia.
Mushrooms help with the pain of
traveling through pipes.

Past seas of Big Boos,
riding his green pal Yoshi,
stars help guide his way.

Finally, the end.
Grey stone and chains dot this place,
dwelling of Bowser.

Red hat wearing man
leaps over the turtled fiend.
The hiss of lava.

A quest at an end,
gracefully Peach approaches.
An embracing kiss.

Townspeople rejoice!
Hero of Mushroom Kingdom,
Super Mario.

an overheard conversation between girls at a Subway

Submitted for your (dis)approval is my best shot at a transcription of a wonderful girl behind me on the phone while I was ordering my veggie sub.

"...Ok, so I felt bad for the person so i'm like totally feeling bad about it.

I don't know anything about him. So I guess I can't really say anything, huh? So like...

...I guess I'll just talk about random stuff. That sound good? I don't care if you think it sounds good or not, haha jk! ... my favorite show is Supernatural... One Tree Hill... I used to like Gilmore Girls, but the show has been going downhill since last season, so I don't watch it anymore! Yea me!

...only 15 years old and cheerleading... go tigers! lol! ...I get my learners permit this summer, so I'm really excited about that! I can't wait until I can drive! Driving FREEDOM! So.. I like talking. And texting. I know how to type fast now, courtesy of my keyboarding class. Oh yeah, school is out soon! hell yeah! I hate school so much! It's retarded.

...listening to music ..mix cd. It has all kind of music on it. Well, the ones worth listening to anyways. That song kicks ass! It's flippin' awesome! And I love Fall Out Boy! That band is soooooo rockin'!

So, I have my car! yes! It's a sunfire! It's great! I've driven it! But I'm not really supposed to because I don't have my license... but thats ok. I didn't get caught."

girls are dumb
sigh...

following the bouncing bubble

Earlier this afternoon I went out for my daily run. I’m trying to get back into shape again, so last week I started a 5K a day plan. I have to say I’m enjoying it so far, its nice to feel better again, and I kinda hope I’ll have a good trail to run when I end up moving to Columbia. The path I run now goes around the only elementary and middle school in Kirksville, MO.

The elementary school was having recess outside today and I saw one boy out by himself, away from everyone else by the group of trees near the bike path. I noticed him a ways back so I was watching him while I was running by. He was holding a stack of papers, but he was busy chasing one that must have gotten away, swept up by the wind. When he finally got to it, he tripped, fell, and dropped all of the papers he was holding. I was about to stop my run to help, but a girl came over from his class I assume and helped him pick everything up.

It reminded me of the time last year when I was in Des Moines at a Flaming Lips show. There was a little kid who went chasing after one of the balloons the lead singer Wayne Coyne threw that ended up going astray from the crowd. I remember the kid looking so happy running after that thing. He went to go grab the balloon when it finally hit the fence and popped, making him fall face first right into the fence.

He didn’t have anyone come over and help him up, but maybe that’s just how things work sometimes. You go out alone chasing after that one big thing, that one big moment or accomplishment that you think will make your life near perfect only to have it go and explode on you. You know you can realize in the long run that the decisions you made in the past could have been incorrect ones, but either way, no matter what the outcome, you still have those stupid fence marks on your face.

It only takes a goddamn broom...

Today I had a customer complain because we don’t give away free popcorn anymore. I really never remember a time when we gave out popcorn for free, or when I read a good book and decided that it was so good that my experience can only be heightened by the presence of an oily face and greasy fingers. I explained to him that we don’t have the necessary tools to clean up the mess that our pop corn machine creates. He told me “It only takes a goddamn broom!” I didn’t really know how to respond to that so I just stayed quiet and took comfort in the fact that he was going to die in a few years.

I had my annual performance review at my job earlier this week. It’s hard to believe I was pleasantly stalked on facebook one year ago by my now (gay)friend and got offered a job. It pays to know how to look handsome, unwittingly flirt with a guy(i'm not gay), and hit the button that says five sugars and five cream for some ones coffee I guess. But anyway, like school I am graded on a 4.0 scale, one which I’ve never really understood in the first place. I don’t particularly like the idea of being rated out of four, there isn’t really much separating you from the 3’s and the 2’s, let alone the 1’s from the 4’s. Regardless, of my annoyance with these numbers, I got graded anyway. I got a 3.56, because I fucking rock, which is exactly one point higher than my accumulative gpa, and in both cases I didn’t have to write any papers.

Because of my excellence in the field of book finding, I was rewarded with the choice of one of four prizes. There was a tote bag, a pen, a nalgene, and a coffee cup. I decided to pick the one with the most class.

Ego bruising at the gates of hell

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It was a really nice day out today. However, I worked. 7:45- 5:00 shift. I got out early today on account that I worked too quickly and got everything done. Some girl came in for an interview and made fun of me because after lunch I put my apron inside out and didn’t realize it. Her face annoys me, and her attitude, at least I wouldn’t go around and make fun of the employees at a place you’re trying to get a job at. I didn’t want her to get hired on account of my apron fiasco, but she did anyway. I feel like it wasn’t all my fault though, I had a painful lunch.

I went on my lunch break around 12. I decided to go back to my apartment, I knew I had a letter coming either today or tomorrow, so I was excited to see if it came. The parking spaces were full on the street so I had to park in the back lot of my apartment. I went around to the front door to go and check and see if it came. Now, for people who aren’t aware, I live next to a loan office, and next to that the majestic Kirksville Mini Mall. Mini is a good way to describe it. Essentially it is a knife store and a tanning salon. I think they just installed some coke machines in there as well.

Anyways, a lot of pretty girls come and go. I saw a girl coming out of there as I approached the door to the apartment. She looked familiar, so I was going to wave hi, but I wasn’t too sure it was her, and I didn’t want to be some weird creepy guy who waves hi at some girl who turns out to be a complete stranger. Those occurrences only lead to awkward looks and me staying hidden from the public the rest of the day. So what do you do when you’re not sure if you know the person walking towards you? Well, I put my hand against the door and looked back over my shoulder to casually and inconspicuously look at her again. Well, she turned out not to be the person I expected, and the door, of which I placed my hand on to go inside, wasn’t exactly what I expected either.

Remember, it was a nice day outside, so it being the nice day that it was, the door was propped open. I didn’t know that. I leaned against the air. I fell. It hurt.